Two Energies

Oct, 26 2020
2 Minutes

A few months ago in my notes, I talked about having "Two Energies". I'm feeling it again, so here's a reprint:


Earlier this week, I experienced a sharp turn in my energy levels. Monday and Tuesday were great. Then, something happened on Wednesday night.

My ability to think abstract thoughts and generate any semblance of creative work left my brain. I felt like Cinderella when the clock struck 12, or that movie Limitless when the Adderall++ pills began to wear off. The magic faded away and thereafter, I was forced to welcome the reign of tiredness.

This happens to me a lot. I seem to operate in two forms, one in which ideas and productivity comes naturally - and another in which  everything is a struggle. I don't drink caffeine, and maybe that's part of my problem, but I find that these "two energies" and the transition between them feels a lot like the boom and bust cycle of the stock market.

The bull market run up to feeling good is rooted in strong  personal wellness fundamentals (good sleep, exercise, diet, and  psychological care), but as the good times roll on, those fundamentals slowly (or quickly) fall by the wayside. Things continue to go well, but a reckoning is awaiting. Lack of sleep. Burnout. Anxiety. A crash. The bear falls into a sudden hibernation.

So that's kind of where I'm at right now. Wednesday was the bust in my boom and bust energy cycle, and the last few days, things went from bad to worse, and here I am trying to re-invest in the fundamentals to get myself firing on all cylinders again.

Addendum on 2020-10-25

This week, I felt like I was riding some upward momentum - and then, quite suddenly, I started to feel the wheels coming off. I noticed my average hours of sleep were falling, which was accompanied by some pain in my knees during my morning runs.

And it all caught up to me on Friday in a crash.

The good news is that I think the underlying fundamentals are strong. My poor sleep isn't due to anxiety (thanks to me newfound understanding of anxiety), but poor time management and dumb diet decisions (I'm lactose intolerant and I ate dairy).

There was a crash, but I'm buying low.